Quit that worrying!!

One of my biggest downfalls my entire life has been that I worry. I know it is a sin to worry, and I confess this problem continually. But I seem to fall right back into that hole time and time again. I remember worrying as early as four years old that the police were going to come arrest me over an overdue cassette tape and book set borrowed from the public library. A few years later I held my breath waiting for a police officer to put my mom in handcuffs after a fender bender. (The accident wasn't even her fault.)

Needless to say, this problem has carried with me into adulthood. Most recently my worry involved a new summer job I took on at my local alma mater. I graduated several years ago as a physician assistant, and decided two years ago to stay home full time with my kids. Last fall I took on a small teaching job for the same PA program from which I graduated. I stressed each week because I wanted to do the best job I could. In the end, I had a lot of fun and was glad for the experience. So when the school called me in January this year asking if I'd instruct a summer class, I immediately said yes. Here is what I didn't take into consideration. In the fall semester, I was one of three instructors for the Gross Anatomy class, and my small part involved speaking for 20 minutes once a week in the back of a small dark room beside a projector. This time around I would be speaking for 90 minutes in the auditorium standing on a stage behind a podium and a microphone. Did I mention that public speaking makes my hands shake? My palms sweat? My heart race? My tongue dry and swell up?

Last week, the morning before my first lecture, I stood in the shower literally trying not to vomit. I felt so sick I was afraid I wouldn't even make it to the school. I finally pulled myself together and drove the 25 minutes to campus, shaking and praying the whole way. (Funny, I prayed that I would do well and know what to say, but I didn't pray for Him to take my fear away. You'd think I would have learned something about that in my past 20 odd years on this earth.)

When I got to the school, I saw a sign on the door that read "All classes previously scheduled in the auditorium will be held in Room 137 until further notice." I stopped and read it again slowly. A regular sized room without a stage... and no microphone! A smile crept up on my face and I almost squealed out loud for joy. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I repeated it the entire walk down the hallway into the classroom.

Another lesson learned: Do. Not. Worry!! Maybe this time I've learned this lesson for good. If not, I know and trust that His grace is sufficient, even for a repeat worrier like me.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.