Kindergarten- kicking and screaming.

I need to start a new hobby like I need another pregnancy. Yet here I am, creating a blog. I am a 29 year old SAHM (that's stay at home mom/homemaker/domestic diva/insert your own cute title here) to four beautiful babies, ages 5, 3, 2, and 3 months. Yep- that's four kids in four years. No, I'm not crazy, and yes, I'm glad it's me and not you. (That's not rude, is it? Because I do have people say that to me, and I have to agree with them- I wouldn't trade those cuties for anything!!) I spend my days playing, cleaning, teaching, nursing, cooking, transporting, and through it all keeping my sanity, or trying to, anyway. I'm also married to my first and only love who is putting the kids to bed as I write this. Oh how I love him.

You may be wondering about my blog title. This was my oldest child Brooke's favorite saying when she was three years old. Why, I'm not sure. But it sure was adorable every time she said it, as well as true-we don't eat bugs. (Not even touch them, for that matter.) My eldest daughter is a smart, thoughtful, beautiful, and inquisitive little girl, and it seems like yesterday she was a baby in my arms. Which makes it seem impossible that she is to start kindergarten this fall. I will be walking her through those school doors this coming September all the while kicking and screaming inside. It seems unnatural to put her into the hands of perfect strangers. I never considered myself a control freak until I received a letter from the school regarding kindergarten registration. The letter said that younger siblings should not attend as they would pose a distraction to the process. Mama bear inside of me started to growl. Someone telling me where I can and can't take my children?? Over the top, I know. But it was my gut reaction.

On the day of kindergarten registration, Brooke stood in front of the school and I had her pose for a picture. (I was obedient and left the youngins with my mom- it seemed like suicide to take them with me, anyway.) I held back tears as she gave a giant CHEESE for the picture. She showed no fear as the older grade schooler took her down the hall for testing while I was sequestered with the other crying parents to fill out a million registration forms- I'm guessing a ploy to distract us from the fact that our babies were growing up before our very eyes. As I filled out the forms, it was reassuring to see the other parents seemed relatively normal. No signs of meth addiction or murderering that I could see. Maybe my sheltered child could find some friends who wouldn't corrupt her after all.

Twenty minutes and a writer's cramp later, Brooke came bouncing back to me, happy and unharmed. She had a blast, and was ready to go home and play outside with her sister. I was glad to walk her out of the building, knowing she was still all mine for a few more months, and actually feeling somewhat reassured. No, I'm not ready to let go of her for several hours a day, but at least I know she will be in good hands. And I don't mean the school, though I do hope that's true. I am speaking about my Lord's hands. He loves her even more than I do, and has promised to watch over her. So it is into His hands that I will place her in September, knowing that He will never leave her. I may not be ready to let go, but I pray for her daily that she will love learning, have great friends, a loving teacher, and always remember that there is a Father above watching over her. I love you, Brooke- you made me a mother, and for that you will always have a special place in my heart.