Turning Fifty

My birthday is coming up in the next few months, and I am definitely dreading turning the big 5-0. Yes, I know I'm only 29, and yes, I can count, but here's my reasoning. About 10-15 years ago, all my older cousins on my dad's side of the family started turning 30, and a part of me felt bad for them. I remember thinking how they weren't too far from forty, and that definitely sounded old. You might be able to fool yourself at thirty about being young, but forty? No way. I even saw a patient around the same time who was depressed over her upcoming 40th birthday, and I didn't consider that to be surprising. I mean, let's face it, she wasn't a spring chicken anymore. I know, sad on my part- even a little pathetic as I look back on it, but it gives you a perspective of how I viewed the decade.

Now those same cousins are taking turns turning forty, when it seems just like yesterday that they turned thirty, which means- yep, you guessed it, before I know it, they will be turning fifty. And that definitely seems old. (Sorry, Mom and Dad.) So as my thirtieth birthday approaches, I flash forward twenty years into the not so distant future, and see myself old, wrinkled, and not gray. (I'll always dye my hair.)

I was discussing all this with my cousin Kristie who will be turning forty this month. She laughed at me, then kindly put me in my place. We tragically lost a member of the family in a house fire on Monday of this week, and Kristie reminded me of how quickly our lives can be taken away.  It's one of those things that you "know", but sometimes it takes such a tragedy to make you stop and actually think about that. We really aren't guaranteed tomorrow. Not even the next hour. James 4:14 says, "...whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." 

So as my birthday approaches, I will still joke that it's really just the first anniversary of my 29th birthday.  But instead of dreading that day, I will keep kissing my husband, hugging my babies, and loving on my sister, parents, friends, and family. I truly thank God for every day He gives me with them, and I pray for the strength to do His will while I'm alive, looking forward to the day where there is no more pain, no more grief, no more hurt, and no more death. So bring it on, fifty- I ain't scared of you!