Into His Arms

Every night Madeline ends up in our bed around 5am or so. Bill eventually takes her back to her own bed, but not before they get their snuggles in. It reminds me of when I used to sneak into my own parents' bed at night, and my dad was too big of a softy to say no. I ended up in their room so often because I used to have recurring nightmares all the time- nightmares so vivid I can replay them in my mind even to this day. In one of the dreams, it felt as if I was awake laying in bed, and I could hear my name being whispered over and over again, the volume increasing each time until it was so loud and evil-sounding I would jolt awake. Another dream involved Bill Cosby (I used to love watching The Cosby Show) sitting in a department store with a group of children. I wander away from my mom and decide to sit with them. Suddenly I realize that I can't physically move and I'm trapped there.

Then there was another dream- one that seemed to recur the most. I'm running for dear life, and a man is chasing me, trying to grab me. It's as if I'm in a dark hallway with nowhere to go but forward or backward- there is no scenery, just blackness.

When I was five years old, I realized that Jesus died on the cross to take my sin away. I sat on the floor of my bedroom and asked Jesus to come into my life and be my friend forever. (I actually ended up asking Him to save me umpteen million times until the concept of His saving grace sunk in and I realized that once He came into my life, He would never leave. But hey, I was five years old- give a kid a doctrinal break.) I was witnessing to my friends when I was as young as six years old, even being bold enough to raise my hand in the middle of class to talk about Him. If you knew me at this age and remember my crippling shyness, you can grasp how amazing it is to me that I was so bold. I miss the fearlessness that has faded over the years.

The last time I had the dream of the man chasing me, it wasn't a nightmare anymore. As I was running, I suddenly stopped. I turned around and held my arms up high. The Man ran up to me, picked me up, and held me tight. I was no longer scared, and felt completely safe.

If you are still running, stop. Turn around, and hold your hands up high. He's waiting to hold you, and He'll never let you go.